i don't know dear... sounds to me like he's experimenting with you.

i never told anyone this. i met a guy after babysitting at the crotch's. he was well drunk and me being me i humoured his chat.  but i was 16 so there came a point where i was worried - for about a minute. then  he was just a drunk man with wife problems walking me to the top of endrick gardens hill (i did not want to walk the lane) he told me about his life and then he hugged me. when he hugged me he kissed me and  he said:
"you're going to go somewhere. you're going to be someone great. i promise, i can tell."

i met a man tonight who told me that "the way you talk about the things you love means you will not fail. i believe in you. you deserve success."

there is a workmate of mine who should be living his a fireman/painter career but circumstance rules...  he is stupidly talented. he rips the shit out of my desire for gsa. he is a painter and i really respect him. but then the other day he told me he was just jealous, that was why he mocks me and he was still trying to find somewhere he fitted. he said i was lucky. he said at my age i have everything waiting for me. i wish i could take him with me.

tonight i met a girl who got into st martin's. she is 19. we did a course together last year. i have seen all these talented people get in. turns out dimitra got in, i think i'm missing something. i thought i had something.

i need to find it. i need to be something like they promised.